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Sunday, August 19, 2012

Call Me Maybe? RSVP Rules.

Does anyone else have Carly Rae’s “Call me, Maybe” stuck in their head ALL THE TIME? (I’m not the only one right?)





Well this post is not about that song… (but I bet your singing it in your head now).   

I wanted to converse about the idea of R.S.V.P.-ing.

R.S.V.P.:  Repondez, s’il vous plait or “Please Reply” (That’s about all I got out of high school French class!)

In the past (although I cannot find anything about this in my circa 1922 Emily Post Etiquette book), the etiquette around the idea of  R.S.V.P.-ing was to respond to an invitation (usually written or phone call) letting the host know if you will be attending.    

Do you think this is still how it is used today? 

I don’t really see the need for an R.S.V.P. on an invite to a buffet or other get together where the guest list doesn’t need to be exact.  I would think that the only need for an RSVP would be on a formal invitation to a wedding, etc.   


As the host of a party or event, it truly is up to you as to the choice of adding RSVP information to your invitation.  You can do this in many ways:

1.  Sending an R.S.V.P. card along with the invitation with postage already paid (usually a must for formal weddings).

2.  Supply your guests with a phone number/ email address to contact you as to their plans on attending.

3  Choose the "regret's only" route and ask that guests only contact you if they are going to be missing out on the festivities.

I have to admit, I have accidentally forgotten to RSVP to events in the past (I know, shame on me!), but what should you do as a host if guests do not respond to your RSVP demands?  You have a few questions to ask yourself:

If someone does not answer, is that a no?  

Is silence acceptance?

Should you call each guest that did not answer the RSVP and ask them for a response?

I suggest, rather than getting upset that a guest did not respond, just call them up and ask them if they received and invite and if so, if they will be able to make it.  (Don't ask for details, its possible that your guest might not want to divulge the reasoning for not attending a function.)

Now , I hope every time you put RSVP in an invite, you sing to yourself: “Call me, maybe?”

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